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 Many believe that football is a religion. Have you noticed there’s been a little competition around in the last week? Yes the washing machine – sorry I mean the Pope – so retro – il Papa tedesco, has landed to conduct his own Reformation –
credo he’s here to kick goals. Over 100,000 visitors are here too to have a life changing experience. So many impressionable people around and if they see an Aussie Rules footy match or venture down Oxford Street, they might have a life changing experience.
What a debacle! What shame! What ignominy! As I predicted those Cats from Corio Bay were indeed feral going for the jugular of the Crows leaving seeping wounds and blood a plenty on the playing field. Against the Pies they fared a little better with a ‘competitive’ start, but it wasn’t good enough. Porplyzia’s shoulder is now a big problem and Birdman Burton will not fly again this season. How tacky was the Sunday paper (I won’t identify them with a free plug) headline! There is poor Brett on the field, clutching his knee in excruciating pain with the Bye Bye Birdy byline underneath! If they want to be correct and make an analogy to the 1958 musical they should get the title right! Bye Bye Birdie, but no, the standard and research techniques of journalism, (the internet, after all, is only a mouse click away) like the Crows and the Power, have plummeted! With four losses in a row, Craig and his cronies have had a reality check and the team to supporters must seem heretical and ready to be burnt at the stake! Unless there is a new vision, an epiphany even, they will not make the finals.
Way up there in hallowed heaven on the sacred ladder is the trinity of teams, the celestial Cats, the holy Hawks and the papal Bull-dogs! The rest have almost been consigned to purgatory, a diabolical hell, and there is no relief in sight from the seemingly eternal flames and infernal damnation.
And what about the unholiness of Hall? The ex-boxer really needs to go to confession and exorcise his pugilistic demons. I think he has problems, the doomed soul.
Back to a favourite topic! Yet another inane comment from a commentator as malapropisms continue in the doltish footy caller niche. ‘The ground is slippery tonight. There’s a lot of jew on the grass’! Now I didn’t know if he was referring to a Middle Eastern type having a puff, or whether he meant ‘dew on the grass’ – damn it the word is d-ew – with a d you dilly dullard, it’s not difficult!
Tipping is still dipping! We need a miracle so we’ll have to pray to that lady in Fatima or if you prefer Lourdes (our dear Madonna!). As already noted, we’ve got the top man in the country whom I’m told likes soccer, that handless stuff. Well what would you expect, it is a shameful sin!
Progress score: AFL 73/120, SANFL 37/59 for a total of 110/179 – 61.5%.
AFL
ROUND 16: Collingwood, Geelong, Essendon, Brisbane Lions, Hawthorn, Sydney, Adelaide, Melbourne
ROUND 17: Geelong, Collingwood, St Kilda, Richmond, Adelaide, Port Adelaide, Kangaroos, Western Bulldogs
SANFL
ROUND 16: Glenelg, North, Norwood, Sturt
ROUND 17: Eagles, Glenelg, Port, Sturt
by Jock Strappé
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